Dear UPS,

Why do you hate me?

You used to leave my packages, the ones that said no signature was required. But back in May you stopped. Just suddenly you stopped. You even had me sign the doortag once only to leave me another doortag on top of it the next day.

Why would you do that to me?

I mean, I can understand for expensive things like my laptop. But cheap things?

You left my roommates $40+ worth of Mass Effect books (nerd) but you won't leave my $20 Sonic Screwdriver (also nerd)? Why?

You always do it when it's something I really want too.  I tracked the package all day and was home during your "First attempt" but, no, you just must've seen the broken doorbell and said "WELP guess I tried."

I know our doorbell is broken, but that's why the note on it says "Out of Order PLEASE KNOCK." Do you see that big, open window upstairs? Seriously just knock on the door, I can hear it. I can hear my roommates opening the door when they come home, I'm sure I can hear your fist pounding on it.

The FedEx guy figured it out, why can't you?